{"id":32,"date":"2015-07-20T18:12:17","date_gmt":"2015-07-21T01:12:17","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.rissarenae.com\/blog\/?p=32"},"modified":"2015-08-07T20:00:57","modified_gmt":"2015-08-08T03:00:57","slug":"along-came-a-spider","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.rissarenae.com\/blog\/2015\/07\/along-came-a-spider\/","title":{"rendered":"Along Came a Spider . . ."},"content":{"rendered":"

Or: How not to react to a spider sighting<\/p>\n

Truth be told, I\u2019m not too fond of spiders.<\/p>\n

Okay, I hate them.<\/p>\n

Fine! I\u2019m completely petrified of spiders!<\/p>\n

I am an arachnophobic and not too proud about it, but there is nothing I can do about it. If I were given the choice to have a non-toxic spider the size of a fingernail crawl on my face, or endure a trial where I was guaranteed some form of non-lethal physical injury, I would choose the physical injury ten-out-of-ten times.<\/p>\n

I know where it stems from. Growing up in Ohio, we a nasty spider which loved to make homes in your home \u2013 the Wolf Spider. It can grow to the size of a toonie (or a silver dollar) and can run like nobody\u2019s business. They\u2019re fearless little buggers too. We also have about half a dozen species of jumping spiders. So, that made for a childhood marred at an early age by a fear of spiders.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\"Yuck!\"<\/a>

MeowMix as well shares my hatred of spiders and spider webs<\/p><\/div>\n

Fast forward to this morning as I open the garage door, step out to survey the morning only to be greeted by the biggest frickin\u2019 spider I\u2019ve seen in a long time. I scream, of course, and flail madly to put enough distance between me and the spider. Luck would have it that my neighbour is conveniently loading his bicycle for the morning trek in to his office. I\u2019m sure I made his morning, given his poor attempt to hide the fact that he\u2019s crapping himself with laughter deep inside.<\/p>\n

\u201cEverything okay over there?\u201d There\u2019s more than a hint of amusement in his voice.<\/p>\n

\u201cNo!\u201d I screech. \u201cThere\u2019s a big frickin\u2019 spider on my garage!\u201d<\/p>\n

Now keep in mind, I am freaking the frack out in the middle of my driveway. I cannot physically get myself to cross the threshold from the driveway into the garage as the spider will freaking kill me if I make a move! No really! It will!<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\"Take<\/a>

The Green Plastic Garden Rake of Justice! Ages 3 and up.<\/p><\/div>\n

Thankfully, my eight-year old is only mildly creeped out and comes to my rescue with a kids garden rake. Using said implement of justice, he knocks the spider from its web and safely disposes of said nuisance somewhere I cannot see. However, it\u2019s still several minutes before I can muster enough courage to run back to the garage and hide in the car.<\/p>\n

Meanwhile, I\u2019m sure my neighbour has filed that morning chuckle alongside the previous chuckle of me clubbing a gopher back into a hole with a running garden hose spraying water everywhere.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Well. I suppose if you\u2019re gonna freak out, you might as well do it in style.<\/p>\n

– Rissa<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Or: How not to react to a spider sighting Truth be told, I\u2019m not too fond of spiders. Okay, I hate them. Fine! I\u2019m completely petrified of spiders! I am an arachnophobic and not too proud about it, but there is nothing I can do about it. If I were given the choice to have […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":36,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[3],"tags":[4,2],"class_list":["post-32","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-day-to-day","tag-funny","tag-out-of-focus","post-preview"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.rissarenae.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/07\/spider-clipart-black-and-white-spider-clipart-eTMEXRGTn.png?fit=1600%2C902&ssl=1","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p6odz9-w","jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":3540,"url":"https:\/\/www.rissarenae.com\/blog\/2024\/06\/new-book-release-news\/","url_meta":{"origin":32,"position":0},"title":"New Book release news","author":"Rissa Renae","date":"June 6, 2024","format":false,"excerpt":"\u2026 or why a write-a-book-in-a-month challenge isn\u2019t necessarily a good challenge. 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I suffered a roller coaster of anxiety and panic attacks at being stuck in my house (I\u2019m an introvert and I couldn\u2019t stand to be in my own house!). I also have the a-cursed \u201cunderlying\u2026","rel":"","context":"In \"KDP\"","block_context":{"text":"KDP","link":"https:\/\/www.rissarenae.com\/blog\/tag\/kdp\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.rissarenae.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/04\/copyrightRnD.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":1058,"url":"https:\/\/www.rissarenae.com\/blog\/2021\/01\/2021-resolutions\/","url_meta":{"origin":32,"position":3},"title":"2021 Resolutions","author":"Rissa Renae","date":"January 1, 2021","format":false,"excerpt":"Before we begin, a little song . . . Image from Imgflip More on that later. As we kiss 2020 goodbye (more like kick its sorry ass out the door), 2021 has a head start on being a better year for the simple fact that it\u2019s a new year. 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